Domestic violence and children

Children who live with violence in their homes are affected, even if they do not see it (if they are in bed or in another room) or appear to be doing okay.

Each child may react differently to the violence at home, but all are impacted in some way.

Common reactions

Emotional

Children often feel guilty for not being able to stop the violence. They may be confused by their feelings for each parent. They may be scared, anxious, nervous, embarrassed, angry, depressed, or even feel suicidal about what is happening.

Physical

Children may get stomach aches, headaches, or other symptoms because of emotional stress.

Behavioral

Some children may:

• Act out aggressively
• Copy what they see and hear
• Have trouble sleeping
• Wet the bed
• Become withdrawn
• Try to take care of the family
• Get into fights at school
• Have trouble concentrating
• Get poor grades
• Abuse drugs and alcohol
• Run away

Learn more in our Children and Domestic Violence Resource Guide (7.08MB)

How to help

Domestic Violence survivors share that what matters most is having someone in their life who is there for them, without judgment, to bounce ideas off, get support, and lean on when things are tough. Our partners at the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence developed a helpful Friends and Family Guide to help.

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network provides some practical and helpful resources when navigating conversations with children regarding domestic violence. 

Please see this helpful factsheet series to begin thinking about these conversations.